Probably doesn't make much sense but meh.

So we're talking again. Thank goodness.

My week went to shit, but you picked it back up without realising.

A few months ago there were mixed mesages going back and forward (or so it seemed to me) now though, I'm definitely cool with just being friends. To not have you to talk to for that time was horrible, but I'm glad that we're talking again. I missed it and am ready to move on.

Thank-you.

Facebook

Facebook: "In life, you'll find your strong points and you'll find your weak points. After that you'll reach the point where things can only get better; it is only then that you will know for sure where it is that you truly want to be." ~Me

Where did I go wrong?

Right now I am:
- facing the fact that I will not be doing uni for at least six months.
- dealing with the fact that the best foster mum ever has cancer.
- exhausted from working too much.
- trying to find ways for me to be a better worker and get more done within the hours I am given.
- saving for a car whilst living off my earnings from employment.
- constantly putting up with double standards.
- doing all the above more than 18 hours from the place I called home for many years, unsupported.

Whilst:
- being told I should get my act together.
- failing what I should easily be able to pass; had I not been trying to balance too much on my schedule.


WTF?

...I, I, I...

...don't know what to think.
...don't know what to do.
...just don't know.

Trying my best for everyone else, and losing myself.

Losing my friends because I don't, won't and can't say no to working extra shifts, because there is simply no one else to work the hours I do. Losing hours away from work means losing hours to spend quality time with some of my very best friends. I'm sick of being too busy for them; and accidently double-booking myself when I do end up getting time off... Or simply being too sick or tired.

It aches. My muscles ache, my back aches, my feet ache, my head aches; and most of all, my heart aches. My body aches because I do so much, my heart aches because I miss my friends, I miss my family and I miss my late night talker.

It's all swimming around in my brain. I worry that I'm not good enough at my job. I know I'm not good enough at uni at the moment. I certainly think I'm not good enough at being a good friend at the moment and I am completely sure that I'm not looking after myself the way I should be.

The answer to the way I keep dealing with this: Shrug my shoulders, say "Oh well, maybe I'll fix it in a week or so..." and sadly; this cycle continues. It's getting worse as time goes by and I'm really trying to fix it properly now. Let's just hope I end up doing better because, let's face it: failing uni just isn't good enough and neither is not spending enough time with my friends.

Something to finish off with:

Just keep smiling. :)

...just a quick post; and no, it's not about me or my problems...

All I have to say is why on earth do the people who deserve the best in life (Who are kind hearted, caring, and just awesome in general) have to go through such horrible happenings. I hope that they can see how truly awesome they are and that they can get though whatever life throws at them. You guys have people around you who truly care and I want you to know I am here for you! Thick or thin. Yes, I may work alot, but I want you to know that I am here for you whenever you need me. If I'm at work when you contact me, you bet your bottom dollar that I will be in touch with you as soon as I am finished work. You guys are the best. C and J you guys are two of the best people that any one could ever hope to meet. Just remember that! Love you both!!!!!! <3