Who is she? I don't know her. I've never seen her before, yet I've seen her so many times before it seems; just not in the same way.
Does everyone else see this person as I just saw her?
That woman. She looks so much like her mother. Aging before her time, gaining weight, brain doing crazy things to her, her life, her friends, her future. How did this woman become who she is today. She looks so sad, like there are things that she wants to explain to everyone but just can't. She's crying now.
Why her? Why God did you set her life out the way you have? I've never seen anyone quite as messed up. Do you see what you've done to her?
I guess maybe this woman is more transparent in a lot of ways that many aren't. Everyone seems to be able to find a place to fit in her heart. She opens up to too many people. Is that why she has those things on her wall? What about the one on her ceiling? What does that look like to the onlooker who hasn't seen this person before. I mean sure, I haven't seen her before either, at least not in this way.
This woman. She used to know what she wanted. She used to know how to deal with things when things became challenging. She was one of those people who when the going got tough, she got going. I don't know that side of her anymore.
She used to be so determined to do well. Now, she just doesn't know anymore.
She tells me that she is doing the best she can, I can see it in her eyes, but she also says that as much as she tries she just can't be that super-person anymore. She can't be that person who always did well no matter what she did.
This woman now describes herself as lazy, fat, foolish, hopeless, dumb, absurd and insane.
Every night it gets harder. Harder to get to sleep she says to the people in her life. Only she and I know that there's so much more going on behind the scenes. Except there's no easy way to explain it. Every time she tries to explain it to the friend she sees many times a week in the non-internet based world, she hits a wall that she just can't get past.
She tries so hard these days, with little results on the surface. She doesn't think anyone realises quite how hard she is paddling under the surface; she doesn't realise that I'm beginning to see a pattern I've seen before. This pattern is not good. I lost a friend to this very pattern.
It's getting hard for the woman to pick herself back up out of this spiral, and there's only two people who can ultimately help her:
Him and Herself....
Many say time heals all wounds. That woman I just saw, she doesn't believe it. I'm not sure I believe it either. She says she'll be damned if it heals her wounds. The look on her face, her posture, the way she lives her life, all of these clearly express her complete belief against that simple phrase of four words.
Time heals all wounds? I'll believe it when I see it for real.
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